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Hurt – Bitterness – Injustice – Abused Pain
We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice, or simply emotional pain.
Having the people closest to us whom we love the most lets us down in many ways really hurts. Are they insensitive to how we feel? Do they even care? How can they do this to me?
“We have associated our security, satisfaction, self-worth, or freedom with something that we are not getting from persons, society, God, or life as a whole”.
Why are we suffering?
We feel emotional pain when we do not get what we want, need, or expect. We might feel hurt, rejection, bitterness, abuse, injustice, or simply emotional pain.
In some cases, we have not received the behavior or outcomes we expected or believed we deserved. We feel this kind of feel pain in cases when * people * do not behave to us in the ways that we had expected as well as in situations where * life * does not give us what we feel we need or deserve. We believe, “I cannot feel happy unless I get that which I believe I need.”
We have associated our security, satisfaction, self-worth, or freedom with something that we are not getting from persons, society, God, or life as a whole.
Some examples might be when:
1. Others lie to or deceive us.
2. They do not support us when we need them.
3. They reject or criticize us.
4. We fail at some tasks, which we feel we should have succeeded at.
5. We lose a loved one.
6. Our loved one shows a preference for another.
7. People important to us do not show us the respect we expect.
8. Others do harm to us or our loved ones.
9. We are accused of doing or saying something we did not do.
10. When we are falsely suspected of having ulterior motives.
11. “Friends” gossip about us behind our backs.
12. We are not given the raise or promotion we believe we deserve at work.
13. Others do not keep their agreements with us.
14. We are robbed.
15. We lose our fortune in some way.
You can add many more situations in which we feel hurt because we have not received the respect, love, affection, loyalty, truth, kindness, and justice that we were expecting.
*** Positive Alternatives to Feeling Hurt ***
Positive alternatives to feeling hurt, bitterness, and injustice could be:
1. * We can have Faith * in divine wisdom and justice.
2. Assessing where you are right now
Fact-check your reality in an unbiased, detached manner.
Look not only at external circumstances but also at your own inner processes and habits that might serve to jeopardize your healing progress. For instance, you might have a bad habit of blaming and criticizing yourself which will slow you down and perhaps even cripple your efforts of making progress in healing. You'll need to take this into account so it's crucial you're open, objective, and fact-based in your assessment of reality.
3. Creating an action plan
The next step is that your coach will help you design a plan that will take you from where you are right now to where you want to be in the future. You'll determine the steps you need to pursue. You'll "convert a discussion into a decision."
•What you're going to do and when you're going to do it.
•How this action will contribute towards meeting your goal.
Define: What do you want to create? What do you want? Are you clear on the outcomes you're looking for?
Discover: What strengths and experiences do you have that can help make it happen?
1. What are 3 strengths you can think of right away?
2. What types of obstacles will be in your way, and what support do you need?
3. Journaling is writing down how you feel and what you plan to do about it. It is a great tool. It allows you to express your thoughts and feelings constructively, work through your emotional pain, gain greater self-awareness, and more.
4. Dream: What will healing in this area look like?
5. Design: How will you get there?
6. Destiny: Experiment, learn, and evolve the plan.
7. Celebrating successes along the way
People often concentrate on what they want to change, or what isn't working in their personal or business lives. But it's equally important to take note of what you're doing right. This gives you confidence and keeps you motivated.
Thus, we can overcome emotional pain by:
1. Realizing that we can get coaching to help our growth process.
2. Learn the lessons involved.
3. Forgive others and ourselves.
(Adapted from the “The Psychology of Happiness” by Robert
Further reading you might find interesting: