How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Think Self-Affirming Thoughts
Updated: Nov 17, 2022
Change Your Thinking. Change Your Life.
“Each of us has an inner critic. There is no way to grow up in our society without having developed this inner critical voice which comes from parents, teachers, peers, the media, and from our own conclusions..”
The problem is that this inner critic sounds like a voice of authority when it doesn’t know what it is talking about. It is a voice based on beliefs that have been handed down through generations but that have no basis in fact.
Challenge your ‘little voices’
Have you ever given up on a dream because you’ve listened to that ‘little voice’ in your head that tells you that you ‘can’t do it’ or ‘what’s the point?’ That inner voice is the critic inside of everyone that causes many bright futures to come to a screaming halt. Just like the mommy who freaks out when little Johnny runs with a stick, your inner ‘mom’ worries and frets over new challenges that arise, very often creating enough doubt to make you believe you can’t do it, whatever it may be.
There are times when listening to your ‘gut’ or inner voice comes in handy, but for the most part, what is perceived as a gut reaction is simply fear of failure or rejection before the event even takes place.
How often has this voice said to you:
You can’t do it. You are inadequate. You are stupid and ugly. If he (or she) rejects you, it is because you are not okay. You had better do it right. If you don’t, everyone will know that you are a fraud.
It is NOT okay to make a mistake.
and so on.
This inner critic speaks with such authority that it is tempting to believe what it says. Yet is knows only lies. It knows nothing of who you really are.
When this voice is criticizing you, it is criticizing the you that it thinks you are your wounded self. The critic, having come into being to help you survive and protect you from rejection, long ago decided that who you really are is not good enough. When you experienced judgment or rejection from the important people in your life, you likely concluded that you were being rejected because you weren’t good enough or lovable enough or worthy enough or smart enough or attractive enough and so on. You may have had no idea when you were being judged or rejected, rather than loved and accepted, that it had nothing to do with you. You probably had no idea that you cannot CAUSE another person to be judgmental or rejecting or loving and accepting. You likely had no idea that others behavior is not under your control.
If you believed that you were causing others to judge or reject you, you may have decided that who you really are is not good enough. So, you started to judge and reject yourself as you attempted to create a self that would be loved and accepted. The inner critic is the self your wounded self created. You came to believe that if you judged yourself enough, you would make yourself into an acceptable person.
The problem is that none of this is true. There never was anything wrong with your true Self, your essence, your soul. It was, and is, a perfect expression of the Source from which we are all a part.
When your wounded self is criticizing you, it is criticizing your looks, your intelligence, or your performance. But none of this is who you are.
Who you are what is truly worthy, lovable, and valuable about you is your ability to love. Not how you look, not how smart you are, not how much money you have or how big your house is. Your true Self is an individualized expression of God (or whatever you want to call our Source), and God is Love.
How can you squelch your inner critic so that you can move on and build the business that you dream of?
There are steps you can take to transform your critic. First, listen to your inner voice and make a list of what you hear, elaborating on how you feel about each. Then choose a response to what your critic tells you and make a choice to ignore the negative. Remember to reaffirm your best qualities daily and you will ‘reprogram’ yourself to take your critic’s suggestions as positive messages rather than constant negatives.
Next time you hear the authoritative voice of your inner critic, instead of giving that voice credence, stop listening to that voice. Treat that voice with compassion, like a child who acts like it knows everything. Instead of acting on that voice, open instead to the voice of your true Self the voice of Truth.
Do this simply by asking, with a deep desire to learn, what is the truth? Your Higher Self will answer you. This Self is the true voice of authority, even though it may be much softer and gentler than the loud voice of your inner critic.
Each time you hear the critical voice, ask your Higher Self What is the truth? If you act based on the Truth rather than on the false beliefs of your inner critic, you will find yourself feeling so much better in so many ways!
Choosing to challenge your ‘little voices’ and change your negative thinking will have an impact on every aspect of your life, creating positive habits that even your worst inner critic can’t bring down.
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